How Can I Not Love You
by ussshorty
Summary: I heard this song and just knew that i had to write this fic.


Hi Guys. Yeah it's me again and this is another one parter or maybe not, lets see the type of feedback i get. I actually was inspired to write this whilst watching a stargate fan music video with these lyrics and well here i am. Bare in mind it is 22:43 and i've only just come up with this idea so i've only taken 20 seconds to think it through.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate or the actors or anything else to do with stargate but i own this! Yay!  
  
Summary: Sam makes the biggest decision of her life on what is supposed to be the biggest day of her life. Also Janet's not dead! yay!  
  
How Can I Not Love You  
  
**Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other**  
  
Daniel and Teal'c knocked on Jack's door only to be welcomed with a half asleep Jack.  
  
"Why aren't you ready?"  
  
"Daniel i don't have a clue what your on about."  
  
Jack walked away from the door leaving it open for Daniel and Teal'c.  
  
"Sam's wedding."  
  
"Ah that."  
  
"Yes that."  
  
Jack sat down on his sofa and starred at all the empty beer cans and photo's scattered out over the table. Daniel picked one up.  
  
"Been reliving the good times."  
  
"If you'd care to call them that."  
  
Jack stood and signalled for Daniel and Teal'c to sit down. He cleared away some of the beer cans and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.  
  
"You should be getting ready O'neill."  
  
"Im not going"  
  
"Jack.."  
  
"Don't lecture me Daniel. You have no idea what it is like."  
  
"You'll get over this."  
  
Jack laughed.  
  
"I've had eight years to get over her Daniel and whenever i try my feelings become stronger. I have watched her everyday since we met and it has killed me knowing that i can't touch her or simply ask her out on a date."  
  
Daniel looked at Teal'c who's expression hadn't changed, not eve an eyebrow poked up.  
  
"Jack don't leave it like this."  
  
"Im not leaving her Daniel. I will never leave her but believe me it would be better if i didn't come cause i would just stand in that church and object to the whole god damn thing."  
  
Daniel got up from his chair and placed the photo back on the desk. Teal'c also stood.  
  
"We've got to go. Im picking Sam, Janet and Cassie up."  
  
Jack nodded.  
  
"Oh and Jack, tell Sam face to face not over the phone."  
  
Daniel opened the door and him and Teal'c walked through it. Jack stood and walked into his bedroom. He picked up his mobile and scrolled down the list for Sam's number, who was he kidding he knew Sam's number better than he knew his own.  
  
'It wouldn't be so bad to ring her over the phone. Hey Sam im not coming to the wedding. Nah, Daniel's right i should tell her face to face.'  
  
He snapped out of his thoughts and threw the mobile on the bed. He took a pair of casual light blue jeans out of the cupboard and threw them on with a simple shirt.  
  
**Must be strong and we must let go Cannot say what our hearts must know**  
  
"Has anyone seen where i put my bouquet? It's ok i found it."  
  
Sam picked up her bouquet of red roses and placed them down again. Part of her didn't feel right but that was just wedding nerves.  
  
"Sam you're not even in your dress"  
  
"Janet i've only just finished my hair."  
  
Sam looked at the clock.  
  
"We've got two hours. Dad hasn't even arrived yet"  
  
"MUM !!"  
  
Janet winced at the sound of her daughters scream.  
  
"What is it Cass?"  
  
"There's a spider in the bathroom and i can't go in to do my make-up."  
  
Sam smiled as Janet ran upstairs to the bathroom. She was going to miss these moments, but she would have these moments again wouldn't she?  
  
Jack sat outside in his truck looking at the house. Cassie had put balloons on the front door, 1 pink one and 1 white one.  
  
'Come on Jack you can do this.'  
  
Jack opened the drivers door and jumped out. He walked up Sam's garden path and knocked twice on her door. He could here a fuss coming from inside but out of all the voices he couldn't hear Sam's.  
  
"I'll get it."  
  
There it was the sound of Sam's soft beautiful voice.  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"Hey Carter!"  
  
Sam looked Jack up and down. He wasn't wearing a suit and he didn't look exactly great.  
  
"Is something wrong sir?"  
  
Jack wanted to shout at Sam.  
  
'Yeah there's something wrong. You're marrying him and not me. id say that was a huge problem.'  
  
"Yeah, kind of. I know it's your wedding and all that but..."  
  
"You can't come"  
  
Jack nodded and looked in Sam's eyes. He couldn't hold her gaze so he looked at the view of her whole figure in front of him. She may have been dressed in blue tracksuit bottoms and a pink dressing gown but she still looked very sexy and capturing.  
  
"Im sorry. It's just the base..."  
  
Sam knew he was lying but in a way she understood. If it was the other way around and Jack was marrying another woman, Sam thought she couldn't be there and watch him say his vows to someone else.  
  
"It's ok sir, Really."  
  
Jack hugged Sam but restrained himself from kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"Congratulations Carter. I hope Pete realises how lucky he is."  
  
Sam watched as Jack walked away and got in his truck. He took one last look at her and drove off.  
  
**How can I not love you What do I tell my heart When do I not want you here in my arms  
**  
Janet stood behind her friend but her presence had not yet been felt. She held her friends vale.  
  
"He's not coming."  
  
Janet could swear that Sam's voice was tear filled as she spoke those words.  
  
"Im sorry."  
  
"I guess he thinks it's for the best and maybe it is."  
  
Sam smiled and walked upstairs.  
  
"I better go put my dress on."  
  
Janet watched as her best friend walked into the bedroom. Janet and Cassie had both had the feeling that Sam wasn't ready to marry Pete.  
  
**How does one walks away From all of the memories How do I not miss you when you are gone**  
  
Jack hit his fist against the dashboard. He cried which was strange, he hasn't cried in a long time. he decided to go to base and take his frustration put on whoever was there, not that many people were gonna be there. His faves Siler and Walter were going to the wedding.  
  
Jack pulled over into a lay by and closed his eyes.  
  
He had been leaning over a table when they first met. Okay so he wasn't to thriller to have a stranger put on his team but that was before he had seen her.  
  
(**FB**)  
  
_"Where's he transferring from?"  
  
"She is transferring from the Pentagon."_  
  
(**End of FB**)  
  
Jack laughed. That was the first time someone had shut him up just by being beautiful and boy was Sam beautiful. Sam had been the topic of the male changing rooms for a whole month.  
  
Jack started up the engine again and started to drive. He remembered how scared he had been when Kawalsky took Sam hostage. Ok so at first he thought all his fear was for Kawalsky's safety but soon he realised that a majority of it was for Sam.  
  
**Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over  
**  
Sam sat in her bedroom, she had tears in her eyes but wouldn't let them out of their cage.  
  
'Hold yourself together girl. You are not going to cry for him.'  
  
She stood up and smoothed out her dress. The only things missing now were her vale and a necklace. She opened her jewellery box to retrieve the necklace Pete had given her as an engagement present but right next to it was a necklace Jack had given her.  
  
"Sam, do you want to put your vale on?"  
  
"Yeah. Just give me two minutes."  
  
Janet smiled and walked back downstairs.  
  
"Is she ok?"  
  
Janet nodded to Daniel.  
  
"She will be."  
  
Sam sat back on the bed. Jack's necklace in the right hand and Pete's in the left. She put Pete's back in the jewellery box and put Jack's around her neck.  
  
"You look beautiful."  
  
For a moment Sam thought she heard Jack's voice but it wasn't Jack, it was her father.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
Sam hugged her father. Her father's arms were the one place she felt safe and she missed that feeling.  
  
"I've missed you sweetheart and im sorry i wasn't here to help arrange the meeting."  
  
"It's ok dad. The main thing is you're here today."  
  
Sam smiled at her father but Jacob could tell it was a sad smile. He brought Sam to the bed and sat her down.  
  
"Sam there's one thing a father must never do and that's walk their only daughter down the aisle when they're not happy. Are you happy?"  
  
Sam thought about her father's question in her head.  
  
'Ofcourse you're happy. You love Pete and you're going to marry him."  
  
"Im perfectly happy."  
  
Jacob analysed Sam's eyes and knew they were hiding the truth but he wasn't going to stand in the way of his daughter. She might realise the truth before it's too late.  
  
"Lets go get your vale done. Janet's having a heart attack down there."  
  
Sam and Jacob laughed and walked out of the bedroom arm in arm. As soon as Sam stepped off the final step she was snatched by Janet.  
  
**Must be brave and we must go on, Must not say What we no longer long**  
  
Jack walked into his office. Not much was going to happen today. Every team was on world and a majority of the base were at Sam's wedding. There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Excuse me sir. Im sorry to bother you but i just wanted to remind you that today is your day off."  
  
"Yes well there's been a change. Now if you don't mind going away."  
  
The young lieutenant nodded and walked out.  
  
'Don't take it out on him Jack. He's not the one marrying Sam.'  
  
Jack looked at the paperwork to his left side. He picked up the first pieces of paper and began to read.  
  
'Might aswell get something done.'  
  
**How can I not love you What do I tell my heart  
**  
"Sam if you want to get to the church for your own wedding, we better get going."  
  
Daniel waited at the bottom of the stairs for a response.  
  
"Yeah, we're coming."  
  
Janet and Cassie were first to come out of the bedroom and run downstairs. Sam then followed at a slower pace and took her time at the stairs. Sam coughed once she got down the bottom of the stairs to get acknowledged.  
  
"Sam, oh my god! You look, You look....."  
  
"You look beautiful Colonel Carter."  
  
Sam smiled.  
  
"Thank you Teal'c and if you don't mind could you call me Sam? Just for today."  
  
"Very well Sam."  
  
Jacob went and took his daughters arm.  
  
"Come on then. I know it's fashionable for the bride to be late but not to late."  
  
Everyone laughed except Sam. They walked out to the car and Teal'c opened the door for Sam.  
  
"This is it Kiddo."  
  
Jacob smiled at his daughter.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Sam tried to force a smile but her mind was somewhere else.  
  
(**FB**)  
  
_"What were you feeling?"  
  
"Like ... someone who was about to die."  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"I didn't leave ... because I'd have rather died myself ... than loose Carter"_  
  
(**End FB**)  
  
Sam closed her eyes, just like she had done when he admitted to caring for her back with Anise and the whole Zat'arc situation.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
Sam opened her eyes and looked at Cassie.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"Why wouldn't i be? I guess i just didn't get enough sleep last night."  
  
**When do I not want you here in my arms How does one walks away**  
  
Jack looked at his watch. Sam would be at the church by now. He could ring Daniel on his mobile and tell him to stop the whole thing and put Sam on.  
  
'Pickup the phone Jack. Pick it up.'  
  
Jack picked up the phone but instantly slammed it back down.  
  
**From all of the memories How do I not miss you when you are gone How can I not love you**  
  
Cassie walked in the church as Janet gave Sam a final hug.  
  
"You won't be Miss.Carter next time you come outside."  
  
"I know."  
  
Janet leaned into Sam and whispered in Sam's ear.  
  
"Im sure he's thinking about you too."  
  
Sam looked at Janet puzzled as she walked inside the church.  
  
"Shall we go in?"  
  
Jacob's proud smile was as bright as the sun.  
  
"Lets."  
  
Sam pulled her vale over her face then took her fathers arm. They walked up the steps and waited for the organ to play.  
  
**Must be brave and we must be strong Cannot say what we no longer long**  
  
Pete watched as Cassie made her way down the aisle. Sam's niece was also meant to be a bridesmaid but she broke her leg and felt silly so she pulled out.  
  
"You okay mate?"  
  
Sam's brother and Pete's best man put his hand on Pete's shoulder.  
  
"I marrying the most beautiful, intelligent woman in the world. What can go wrong?"  
  
The sound of the organ started to deafen the walls of the church as Sam entered through the wooden church doors. Sam plastered a smile on her face.  
  
'Keep smiling. You know this is the right thing.'  
  
Sam looked at Pete and locked eyes with him but she quickly glanced at Daniel and Teal'c who were sitting in the front row with General Hammond. None of them looked at all happy.  
  
Sam was disturbed when she felt someone take her hand. It was Pete, her father had given Pete her hand and now there was no turning back.  
  
"Friends and Family we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Peter Shannahan and Samantha Carter. Before i start if there is any reason why these two should not legally be joined then say now or forever hold your peace."  
  
Pete looked over the crowd but Sam just starred at the doors almost wishing that Jack would burst through.  
  
'I shouldn't be doing this.'  
  
**How can I not love you What do I tell my heart**  
  
Jack sat in the briefing room and starred at the gate. he blamed the gate for all this.  
  
"If you hadn't decided to light up then i would have never of met Carter and we wouldn't be in this mess."  
  
Jack looked around to make sure that no one had heard him cursing to himself. He looked at his watch again.  
  
'She'd be taking her vows now.'  
  
**When do I not want you here in my arms How does one walks away**  
  
Sam looked in Pete's eyes. he had love and kindness in his eyes and though she wished she could reflect the same, she couldn't. Not for him.  
  
"Do you Pete take Sam to be your wife?"  
  
"I do"  
  
Pete smiled at Sam as he said the words. Great now it was her turn.  
  
"Do you Sam take Pete to be your husband?"  
  
Sam looked in Pete's eyes. he looked confused that she hadn't given a direct answer. Sam breathed in deeply and held the breath whilst looking at her family and close friends. She let out the breath and let go of Pete's hand.  
  
"No. I can't"  
  
Gasps were heard all around the church.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't marry you."  
  
Sam pushed her vale back off her face and looked around the church just slightly praying that Jack had changed his mind and that he was somewhere in the crowd.  
  
"I need to be somewhere."  
  
Sam picked up her dress and began to walk back down the aisle.  
  
"Sam! Wait!"  
  
As Sam walked past Daniel she mouthed the word keys to him. Daniel got up from his seat and went out the back exit of the church. Sam opened the doors and walked out.  
  
"You're going to him aren't you?"  
  
Sam looked at Pete and the many people who had followed behind him.  
  
"I thought i loved you but i was fooling myself thinking that i could love another man. I've loved him for the last seven years of my life and i can't wipe that away."  
  
Sam opened the car door.  
  
"If you get in that car then there's no more me and you."  
  
Sam smiled a sad smile.  
  
"Maybe that's for the best. You know how i feel about Jack and i know that you couldn't live in that shadow."  
  
Sam got in the car.  
  
"Guy's wait! Im coming too."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"And me"  
  
Jacob, Teal'c and Janet got in the car.  
  
"Cassie get Siler to drop you off at the house."  
  
Daniel started up the car and it took off.  
  
"Should we ring Jack?"  
  
"No! I can't let him think about what he's going to say."  
  
**From all of the memories How do I not miss you when you are gone**  
  
Jack sat tapping his fingers on the desk. He looked at his complete pile of paperwork, it was the first time in his life that he had completed so much paper work.  
  
Sam ran through the halls of the SGC making people stop and whisper. Well it wasn't everyday the SGC had a running bride through it's halls and it wasn't normal that the bride was an important officer.  
  
Jack picked up his phone.  
  
"A bride? What?"  
  
Jack went silent and dropped his phone. He got up and opened the door but stopped as he noticed Sam coming up the steps.  
  
"Carter"  
  
"Jack!"  
  
Jack looked at her. She looked stunning in her wedding dress.  
  
"Why aren't you at your wedding?"  
  
"Well believe it or not, not every bride wants to get married."  
  
Jack looked at her in disbelief.  
  
"You ran out on Pete, on your wedding day."  
  
Sam nodded.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes. What was the real reason behind you not coming to the wedding?"  
  
Jack indicated for her to sit down. Janet, Jacob, Teal'c and Daniel were all crowded at the bottom of the steps.  
  
"I just couldn't be there."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Jack looked at her. She started to take her vale off revealing her glowing blonde hair.  
  
"I couldn't watch you become his wife knowing that i never made the move. Knowing that i never got to hold you."  
  
Sam sensed that there was something more but didn't want to push.  
  
"Now for my question. Why did you run out on your wedding and come looking for me?"  
  
"Because i can't be anywhere you're not."  
  
Sam stood up to be level with Jack.  
  
"Jack O'neill if you make a joke of what im about to ask you i will kill you."  
  
Jack nodded.  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
**How can I not love you When you are gone**  
  
Jack put a hand on her face.  
  
"I've never stopped loving you."  
  
Sam smiled and rested her head on Jack's chest.  
  
"Mind you, I've never stopped loving Teal'c."  
  
Sam hit Jack. Jack cupped her face.  
  
"Where do we go from here?"  
  
"Anywhere you want."  
  
Jack smiled and kissed Sam. Applause could be heard coming from downstairs.  
  
"Daniel Jackson, i believe you owe me £10 and a doughnut." 


End file.
